ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
