I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
not ubering you a puppy
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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