She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
