My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
