Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
