Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
