He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
