I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
