Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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