I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
