Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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