god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
