Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
