this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
