Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
