Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize