He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
