We're facebook friends in real life
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
