i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
