You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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