I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i believe in u and ur pee
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
