i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
