that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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