dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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