forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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