it was like his penis was on wheels.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
