Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
