Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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