I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize