Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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