He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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