she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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