There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
