Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
