What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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