Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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