PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Text me some of your sweat
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
