Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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