Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
