another moral hangover. fuck.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
