its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
