they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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