turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
