Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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