marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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