Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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