Sry I called you an 8
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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