So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
