I got chris browned last night
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
