At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
