A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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