So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
