it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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