Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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