lets start a swedish sibling band together
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
not ubering you a puppy
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
