I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
