and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize