You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
