The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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