Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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