just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
there's paper in my vomit.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
