i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I still have a little drunk in my system
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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