Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
